This is an excerpt of an article I wrote in 2016 for a SandPlay Journal.
Symptoms of the Shift and
Emerging Needs (2016)
In the midway
of this our mortal life, I found me in a gloomy wood, astray
- gone from the
path Direct. - Dante, Canto 1
"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire
goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.
We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner
spirit." - Albert
Schweitzer
It can happen in a
bang, a thud or… a whisper. The bang
might be an accident, a death or illness; the thud might be a birthday, a job
loss. The whisper is more insidious. You begin to notice that things are not
quite the same-- indicators of Dante’s
“gloomy wood. Schweitzer calls it the “fire
going out”; it’s been
called the dark night of the soul or
a spiritual emergency or a hunger.
It happens often in
our lifetimes. These tasks or concerns
are really never finished and completed, but get revisited and reworked as we
grow. This book may assist. I do say
“may” because I believe there is not A Way to do this. You have to figure out what’s best for you
now. That “now” is always slipping
around a bit. I’ve identified four moods that you might recognize. Each has
their own level of dreaminess, emotion and alertness. Then there are four basic needs, hungers or
capacities were all have. Then for there
are five ways of engaging: visually, looking at images, reading poems or quotes
that sharpen the sensibility, reflecting on ways your personally encounter
these, moving into action as actually a way to explore and fifthly, encountering
stories of others who have been similarly engaged: Finding Your Clan
What
is happening as we enter these borderlands?
Is any of this
familiar?
THE SHELL SOFTENS
The Weave
Loosens. We become more porous.
Our storyline has
changed. We are left exposed in new
ways. Sometimes there are body changes which only adds to a more fragile public image. Sometimes we get testy
and righteous. Other times we just feel
wounded. We feel softer, actually more
pliant. The challenge is to adjust,
adapt. Carl Jung elaborated the many
characters that appear in our stories. Some come and go. Some come and stay.
Other are waiting for their turn. He called them “archetypes”. You carry them
all.
The Guest House translation
by Coleman Barks
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-- Jelaluddin Rumi
2. SADNESS.
We may grieve over
the loss of our work, our old ways, our friends. Sometimes that’s more a nostalgia than
sadness. But before the word “sadness” came to mean “sorrowful“, it meant “weary“, “weighty” in the sense that we have
had “enough”. That feeling surfaces
often in our lives, It’s a Melancholy that can be the opening of an
opportunity. There’s a fullness of experience, and yet the question: What
Now?
My brother and I stand like the fences
of abandoned farms, changed times
too loosely webbed against
deicide homicide
A really powerful blow
would bring us down like scarecrows.
Nature, knowing this, finding us mildly useful
indulging also
her backhanded love of freakishness
allows us to stand. Daniel
Berrigan
3. OTHER MOODS EMERGE
we are more
keenly aware different qualities of attention or states of consciousness:
Needing a Trance? Feel open to Chance,
Accident, Magic, relinquishing control? Undifferentiated
encounter with eros, dissolution, longing ?
Are you drawn Inward? working on that archetypal
profile: Who You Are?
Eager to Explore Actions, Practices, encounters with
the creative unconscious.?
Are you vexed,
pre-occupied today! Focus right on it!
Use it as your portal in.
4. TIME WARPS
As we pick or lurch
our way through unexpected changes, our sense of time changes. It might
elongate into memories of the past people, places, events. It might contract into “lapses” about details
of recent vacations, appointments or parties. It’s a time-shifting from the
linear/diary/date book mode to a more dynamic/firing mode. Without a schedule or regular obligations,
time expands and contracts in random ways. We may be more easily distracted or
pursue digressions without much consequence.
We can actually develop new eyes, new skills to be in this adjusted
world. It’s not unlike dreams and it stimulates poetic and magical
thinking. Other senses and sensibilities
are stirred. But Other realities
present and seep through. They are not
new. They have been with us our whole
life, waiting, on the shelf, in the corner while we worked and distracted
ourselves. This is time now for them to present, not necessarily as handicaps,
but often as invitations or opportunities. I found several. You probably know more
or might phrase them differently:
We may start to
approach imperfection and mistakes in a different way. Perhaps we don’t get as impatient or
righteous quite as quickly. Our flashpoint might dim a bit. It starts with
others and then it can even loop back to the ways we treat ourselves. Again, this is an archetypal process. The
Judge, The Critic, may no longer always be center stage. We may come to see
that mastery is OK, but usually overrated.
Other characters may appear.: wounded, androgynous, child-like.
We come to
appreciate time for blossoming, fruiting, seeding and being dormant. It may
start as simply as the curiosity at what might happen if we wait, just an extra
beat or two before we jump in to fix or even express an opinion. We wait.
From One Train May Hide Another (sign
at a railroad crossing in Kenya)
At a crossing, one train may hide another train.
That is, if you are waiting to cross
The tracks, wait to do it for one moment at
Least after the first train is gone.
In a family one sister may conceal another,
So, when you are courting, it's best to have them all in
view
Otherwise in coming to find one you may love another.
So always standing in front of something -- the Other
As words stand in front of objects, feelings, and ideas.
One wish may hide another.And one person's reputation may
hide The reputation of another. One dog may conceal another
On a lawn, so if you escape the first one you're not
necessarily safe; One bath may hide
another bath As when, after bathing, one walks out into the rain. A vivacious mother hides a gawky
daughter. The daughter hides her own
vivacious daughter in turn. One teacher,
one doctor, one ecstasy, one illness, one woman, one man May hide another.
Pause to let the first one pass. You think, Now it is safe to cross, and you are hit by the next one.
It can be important to have waited at least a moment to see
what was already there. Kenneth Koch
5. TECHNOLOGICAL FATIGUE
So certain changes
happen. The speed and ease of technology might not be as satisfying. Consumption of more things may not be as
appealing. We may begin to suspect that the
Promethean myth of glorious progress and growth may have its darker
sides. Our culture is quite quick to diagnose, to medicalize subtler ways of
being into symptoms, "the spectrum" and conditions to be fixed. Just
before we lurch into such action, are other opportunities are emerging, other
ways to see the changes?